9.15am

31st july. Lekha hoyni kichu 10 din. Amay last saturday mane 21st july phn kirlo, kotha bollam, sunday sokale, dupureo kotha holo, raat theke hithat call reject, 10 din hoye gelo. Kono phn naai. Amr mne hoy smvoboto or new bf ke lukiye kaj ta kirechioo, sekhan theke abr jhar kheye amy bndho korlo phn kora.
Anyways, amar r kichu mone hoy na.
Amar gaan ta record hoye gache... Ebar mixing mastering kire dik, setar ekta video banate hobe...
R ha, try korbo aj theke eta ke roj lekhar.

9.37am

Ank kichu lekha hoyni byastotar karone. Ghoteche ank kichu. 16 tarik sokale hothat or msg. Phone korte bllo korlam. Pray ghanta khanek kothao holo. Oke bollam tui purono kotha ektao bolbi na amio bolbna jodi frship ta rakha jay.
Kintu somosya hcche or ei neka neka voice ta amar just sjjho hcche na. Amr boddo birokti lage. Porsu theke abar kotha bondho. Besh hoyeche ami ar ektuo miss kori na oke.

10.59pm

Ajke rothjatra... Mal khelam, keu na korlo na.. or profile khule dekhi, amy dosharop korche... Jar choritrer thik nei sei onyer  choritrer bisleshon kore, tarpor amar success dekhe joluk....
Ha ami to looser, vogoban to amy looser e pathiyeche... Amr r success koi? Nei... Ashbeo na.. amake suicide e korte hbe. O jituk, jit te chay, jituk, thik jerkm ludo khelay iccha kore here jetam. Serkm vabei jite jak... O valo thakuk... Thak re tui valo thak... Khub valo thaak.... Wish u all the very best... Ami to bara looser. Yes i am a looser...!!!

4.55pm

Praay 12 din kichu lekha hoyni...
Karon ei kodin e new kichu ar ghoteni sei ek e jibon.
Tbe ekta notun gaan likhechi "fele rekhe chole gele" gaan ta ke minimal instrumetations e arrange korechi. Record o cholche... Ajke track record hoyeche erpor upload korbo YT te.
Ekta bisoy thik korechi, ami choto khato ja hok job korbo, karon biye ami korbo na, ar jaa e maine pai tate amar ekar kono mote chole jabe.
Chintu ekta graphics er kaj diyeche korchi, photoshop e. Job er jnyoo dkchi, choto khato ja hok korbo.
In the mean time ami joto gulo parbo gaan record kore rakhbo.
Edike babar sorir tao valo ja6e na... Kidney, urine hajar somosya. Dekha jak ki hoy.

3.10pm

Gotokal stalk kore or profile khule dekhi, ekta post share koreche jekhane ekti mey likheche "se nischoi asbe ank surprise niye". Tate rply diyeche "ami 1000 adjust korleo asbe na". 1000 adjust? Just koyekta sorto mane bolechilam paris ni. Osot mal sala.
Tobe kal theke prochondo mon kharap. Eto kharap lagche vebe, je ki swapno dekhechilm r ki hoye gelo r ki hote choleche jibon ta. Dekha jak, aar 18 din samay ache haat e.

11.08pm

Amar e proticchobi. Amar deyal e, eka ekti bench e bose, sara jibon er moton. Sob hariye niswo hoye, ei e to ami.

11.07pm

Ajke kono kakur bou mara galo. Khub kharap lagchilo, sosane giye eto mon kharap lagchilo. Manus er sob kichu ek jhotkay kivabe sesh hoye jaay. Mon kharap lagchilo or jnyo o, or chobi te fb te stalk kore dekhlam, kichu ekta peyche office e, koto khusi dekhacche.
Bari thekeo ebar kaj er jonyo chap dicche.. kaj dekhbo, ami oke biye korte parini, aar krboo na, tai kaj ta korbo, ja salary debe tate amar ekar pet sara jibon chole jabe. Chaliye debo.
Vogoban amay kichui deyni, borong ja chilo tar sob tai chhiniye niyeche borabor e. Ami oke aaj o valobasi, basboo, onyo kauke biye kore chole geleo basbo, kauke biye korbo na, i have decided ami ekai thakbo, sara jibon ami ekai thakbo.

10.44am

Wbcs er result e naam elo naa. Amar monehoy or deoya obhishaap gulo lege jacche. Mon theke diyechilo to, konodin e govt servce hbe na. Last rail er ta dekhbo... Naa hole ami sotyi e suicide korbo.
Vogoban je kano amay ei paap er jonme bachiye rekheche. Amy bodhoy dogdhe dogdhe marte chaiche, nah, ami sei sujog debo na... Ami e ek jhotkay more jabo.
Amake torture anek kora hoyeche aar na. ar kauke sujog debo na, vogoban keo na...

11.27pm

Etodin dhore msg korchilo, valo nei, aj or fb profile e stalk korlam dekhi, shopping mall er chobi, cheharay jella, aladai bepar separ.... Kothay dukkho... Chobi ta dekhe mon e holo, selfie ta ekti chelei tuleche.... Natok baj sala.... Aste de khali 18th Jul, emon vabe tooe tyag korbo, je keu kauke kkhno koreni.

11.00pm

Ajke jani na kano khub mon kharap korche.... Khali etai mone hocche, kivabe sob kichu bodle galo?  Aaj o miss kori toke thakte pari na toke chara, tao aaj o sob kichute tokei dekhi...
Hoyto akhn kono sei sob kaje byasto ja ami kkhno korte baron korechilam. Hoyto akhn ure beras dana mele onyo karor akashe, ar ami? Jekhane fele chole gechili, sei khanei roye gelam.

9.33am

9 tarikh giye 11 tarikh ghure elm Digha theke, ami chintu rintu biswajeet r amit bose. Besh valo laglo. Kal theke besh jor. Khub mone porchilo amy ektu mathay haat buliye dibi? Ba buke matha dibi... Akhn mne hoy sob e to mithye. Dighay giyeo mone hocchilo proti pode pode phn sb e ar nei.
Dighay giye eota odvut feel hcchilo, aar jano karor sathe ghurte jete icche kore na. Khub mone hcchilo ekai ghuri, ekai thaki. Nah, aar kokhono kauke ghurte jete bolbo na, ekai jabo.. keu bolle tokhon alada bepar. 😑 Eka thakai valo, kono expectations nei, kicchu nei. Khub valo.

5.24pm

Onek din kichu lekha hoy na. Aj hothat kichu likhte icche holo, kintu likhbo ki? Notun kichui to ghoteni. Meghamitra ke kano kaukei kkhno ami jibone mante parbo na. Majhe majhe vaabi, sob kichu kivabe amul poriborton hoye gelo. Kolponao kora jay na.

11.33pm

Jani na kano aajkal kauke jodi dekhi karor sathe phn e kotha bolche ba eksathe chobi dicche, khub mon kharap hoy. Amio to erokom chilam. Swapno gulo kamon venge churmar hoye galo. Parchina ar nijeke thik rakhte, sb kamon golmal hye jacche. More gele hyto bsi valo hoto...

11.19pm

Naa Rakhi, tui jodi tor jed chharte na paris, amio parbo na. Anek khoma korechi, aar somvob noy... Ebar amar kache amar moton korei firte hobe toke..

6.12pm

Sotyi khub depressed lagche. Ami jantam ekdin bade bade rakhi msg kore aaj korbe. Ebong korecheo, "tor ki ektuo mon kharap lage na?" Lage rakhi, tui hyto janis na kal rat eo ami tor jonyo kedechi. Sei kanna ta jeta tui sojjho korte partis na.
Kintu ki kore bhuli bol, tui amy dhoka diye ek sathe koto jon er sathe kotha bolechis, jei toke niye amar gorbo chilo prithibir keu kkhno toke vangiye nite parbe na. Tarai toke vangiye niyeche. Ki kore bhuli bol? Tor ar amar sob chobi ekta ekta kore sob delete kore diyechis jate Abhisek dekhte na pre... Ami toke biswas kori na, korte parboo na. Tai amar mon kharap holeo amr sob sorto 18th jul er mdhye fulfill na korle ami ar konodino phirbo na.

1.25am

Sei Sourav sen ee chat gulo dekchilam, chele ta bolche Lojja paccho? Uttor "na ta noy, tomay kano bolbo, moja nicchi". Ki bhul, ki bhul tai na korechi.
Aaj dekhlam, Meghamitra sounak ke peye amay 1tao msg korlo na. Jodio seta amar e vul, amar expect kora uchit o noy. Jak kal theke aar oke entertain korbo na. Ektu boye gechilam srot e... Aar gaan bhasabo na. Valobasa ek bar e hoy, valobesechilam, ar parbo na. Bad baki sob onuvuti amar mon ei thak... Thak ora mon er vetor aar kkhno konodin baire anbo na.

3.57pm

Sobai ke dekchi, jhogra korche mitiye nicche valo thakche. Keu ghurte jacche, ekta ghore samay katacche.
Ar ami sudhu otit ke songi kore bose achi.
Ei guloi amar sasti, hok sasti, ami vul kore thakle sasti to amar prappo.... Jano evabei dogdhe dogdhe mati te mishe giye ekdin prithibir buk theke hariye jai... Kauk blbona kokhono amar koster kotha, aj theke pon korlam, kauke bolbo na.

3.54pm

Ami sob samay e bhogoban er kache ei prarthona e kori vul ta jar e hok, sasti jano tar e hoy, ami hole amio. Amar vobisyot je khub kharap jabe ami jani. Paap logne jonmechi na.

5.55pm

Sokal theke vison mood down hoye ache. Sobai je jar moton kore ghurche, galpo korche. Aar ami puro eka.
Sokal theke babar sorir tao kharap, ki jani abar ki holo? Valo lagche na kichu.
Hothat mone holo jakhn baba hospitalized chilo tokhon o tar mane amar sthe ki hare natok kore gechilo o.
Nah, ar kono mulyei nijeke choto korbo na. Noto sikar oke kortei hobe. Besi na 18th jul obdhi.

9.59 am

Iccha korei ei kodin kichu post korini, ek e rokom jibin boye jacche notun kicchu ghoteni j likhbo, eta gotokal ker ghotona.

Kal ank bar ei msg gulo esche tkhn ami potty te chilam, barbar kore msg korchilam dara korchi, jakhn beriye korlam tkhn ar dhorlo na.

Screenshots tuke tule dicchi.

1.49am

Lyf e kokhono eto baje gaibo kolponao korini, ekta joghonyotomo prgrm holo, besuro baje gan gailam. Megh er sathe gelam, or naam puro dubiye diye choke elam khub kharap lagche. Basically ami ekta opodartho, kicchu parina.
Akhon ghumote eto kosto hocche je ki blbo. Ghum asche na, mon khrap lagche, sob miliye mne hcche ki korte ekhno beche achi.
Tar mdhye or sms, sob thik kore ne, amay niye chol. Vulini re din gulo jotota koste chilm, jotota tor theke konodino expect e korini tar digun amy dekhiyechs, konodino vulbna, amayr kache aste hole amr moto korei aste hobe. Ja tui tor moton bach, amay amar moton bachte de.

01.30pm

sokal theke khub monkharap lagche, khub eka lagche nijeke. kichutei jano poristhititr sathe maniye nite parchina, onekdin e to hoye gelo tao erokom kano hcche ke jane? lyf ta ek jaygay thomke ache, kono unnoti nei, khali down hoyei jacche, ek jaygay bose din, raat , dupur hoye jacche ar ami je ke sei, janina vogoban kobe mukh tule takabe.
ami ki tobe dhire dhire tobe mrityur pothei egiye jacchi? karon theme thakae orthoi to mrityu.
jodi tao hoy tao-o onek valo. kichu to ekta hbe, ei paap er jonmo ami ar chaina, sob hariye gche amar, ja peyechi ta hyto hiseb eo asbe na.
ajke dubar didi ke phn korlam, guitar ta saranor taka neoyar jnyo, kintu dubar e atke gelam boltei parlam na, eto boro chele akhno amay barir kache haat pat te hoy, nah, thak ja ache tai diyei ja hobar hobe, nahole hbe na.

12.52 am

Raat e PK cinema ta dekhar por khub mon kharap lgchilo. Manus ki sotyi karor jnyo etota opekkha korte pare? Manus ki styi eto valobaste pare? Amio to sotyi oke ajo valobasi, khali ektu loyalty chai, dite parche na? Jak valo thakuk, sukhe thakuk...
Amr megh hote icche kore,
Icche kore janla diye dhuke,
Haat buliye aasi tor mathay,
Icche kore ure jai,
Chena chand er bari,
Chuye aasi tor gaal duto.
Kintu jahaj aaj onek dur,
Bashir daak Sona jayna
Hariye gche, kalo somudrer majhe...

10.50pm

Sndhye theke sms kore jacche. Rimpar biyer date final hye gche bole. Ami jani amr durvaggo ekhonoo bekar bose achi. Kintu etao thik chakri pew gelei je toke maaf kore ditam ta noy.
Tai etai bujte parchi je tor biye hye gele amr hyto khub kosto hobe. Pagol hye jabo jakhn sunbo tui onyo karor sojya songi hoyechs. Kintu etao thik tui amy thokiyechis. Ami jani tui amy chas, tai jnyoi amy eto sms koris, kintu se to oi chele tir sthe smporko cholakalin o korechili...
Ufff bhogoban, kano ei pap er jonme amy bachiye rekhecho? Kano mere felcho na amy? Ami bachte chaina.

5.48pm

Sokale gchilam subhankar er bari ami, chintu, kittu, debdutta ... Meghamitra barbar kore bole jabi na, debdutta er sathe misbi na. Ami jani o kano bole or kothao giye amr jnyo ekra soft feel ache. Tai jnyoi o ekotha bolche. Kintu or to bf ache, to eta dur kora dorkar. Setai oke clr kore bollam, o bodhoy rag koreche. Korleo kichu korar nei, amio jani or bf ache o jane seta. So we shd stay in a limit. Somosto kichur odhikar thakte pare na.

12.41am

Mone pore sei din gulo, ekta ghore ondhokare koto gopon ghonistho muhurto katiyechi tor sathe. Duto sorir mile mishe ekakar hoye jeto, koto rongin swapno buntam. Kokhono tui amr buke kkhno ami tor buke matha diye suye thaktam. Koto rokom vabe amra nijeder abishkar korechilam.
Khub kosto hoy, pari na re, jakhn ei sorir ta mante chay na, tkhn toke khub pete icche hoy, ki korbo, toke chara to aar kichu kolponao korini kokhono. Kintu tui to koyeksho alokborsho dure achis.
Sesh bar 1st jan 2018 tokhno amy mithye bolechili, tkhno onyo karoe sthe chili.

12.31am

Ki sundor aajkal eka ekai ghumai, khai, ghuri. Keu jigges kore na, kothay ja6is kano ja6is? Raat 10 ta nagad beriye chilam cigrt khete,... Age hole 1000 ta prsno hoto, berobar sahos e petam na.. kintu ami to eguloi valobesechilam.
Ami ekhon sob eka korte pari, kono khobor pele ekai suni, ekai chepe rakhi...
Valoi achi hoyto....

4.52 pm

Porte gechilam ajke Bagha er kache. Giye dekhi Papiya Das, Atanu Sarkar er bou, sojjho hoy na bal ta ke. Hingse hoy sotyi, eder opor. Bidesh vromon er jonyo sotyi e vagyo dorkar, nahole sala er aukat ki ache jawar?

8.41am

Subho sokal. Aro ekta struggling din er sutropaat.

12.20am

Ami toiri je kono osomvobe. 7 yrs er aomporko, misti onuvuti, sukher sriti sob kichur jonyo onek dhonyobad. Valo thakis. Ami toke sarajibon valobasbo. Sarata jibon.

7.08pm

Dindin cigrt khawar poriman bere ja6e jani. Ki krbo, asole buke khub kosto hy, cigrt khele jano santi pai. Akhn to r nei keu bolar khas na.

6.55pm

Ki voyonkor cinema .. Pari not a fairy tale. Story writer jodi sotyi e experiment kore golpo ta kikhe thake tahole blte hy, khub baje subject niye experiment koreche... 😨😲😨🤯😬

5.26pm

Jodio protidin valolage na. Kintu ekdin na asle miss o kori. Amar bhagne ar ami. Bikel belar tour... Ajke creig park halisahar e.

prothom din 3.30pm

ei blog ta aaj e khullam, chesta korbo prottek din ekhane diary er moton entry korar. er age kokhono diary likhini, ei prothom. asole jibon ta boddo olot palot hoye geche, 14th april er por theke.
amar valobasar somporko ta venge geche.
purono kono kothai ekhane ami details e likhbo na, jodi poristhitir khatire lekhar dorkar pore to likhbo, nochet noy. aaj theke ki hocche, hb ei sob, jani keu kkhno ei blog ba diary dekhbe na. still jibon ta kivabe poribortito hocche, ekla theke eklatoro hoye jacchi, setar ekta proof thaka vlo.